Caroline laughs and
It's raining all day
She loves to be one of the girls

One of the girls? Was she ever one of the girls though? Did she ever have friends... real ones that is? The type that see you for who you really are, not for who you seem to be? Did anyone really see her for what she was?

Herself included?

Buffy sighed and stared at the photo in her hands. This was what had started it all. This damn photo. Looking all pretty in it's glittery frame and drawing her attention.

No, it was her fault. She was the one drawn to Faith's apartment for who knows what reason. To look around, to see, to search... to find the real Faith.

And perhaps to find out why Faith did what she did. Why she turned on them all, why she couldn't find it inside her to simply trust them, and why she turned herself in. All because Buffy had said that she should.

She lives in the place
In the side of our loves
Where nothing is
Ever put straight

Faith looked so different than she normally did.

She looked happy in the photo. She looked content. She looked... she looked loved.

Was she ever really loved? Somehow, Buffy doubted that. Reaching back in her mind, she recalled what Faith told her once. That the only people who ever really loved her were dead.

Her father, her best friend, her Watcher.

Admittedly, Buffy knew next to nothing about those three people but she did know that Faith loved them. That much Faith had told her, that much she had seen for herself as she witnessed the tears swimming in Faith's eyes when she spoke of them.

Those eyes, older than time. Echoing with happenings that a girl her age should never witness, should never be a part of. But because of her destiny. Because of who she is, Faith witnessed and was a part of them all.

And whether either of them wanted to admit it, Faith was a part of Buffy too now. They were a part of each other. A bond between Slayers is not easily broken.

Even by betrayal.

She turns herself round
And she smiles and she says
'This is it'
'That's the end of the joke'

Joke, didn't Faith say that life was a joke? That nothing would ever go right for her? That she was doomed to a life full of screw ups and destiny just fucked her?

Then again, Faith always said things like that, didn't she?

Perhaps because they were true.

Buffy's eyes drifted back down to the photo and without knowing why, her fingers lightly traced the outline of Faith's smiling face. It was such a pretty smile but why hadn't she ever seen it for herself?

Why wasn't she ever let in? Allowed to see this side of Faith? The shy smile, the charming uncertainty in her gaze, the beauty of a hidden tenderness?

And why... why was he let in? Someone only out to destroy all of that? The innocence she held inside, the one that she tried so hard to keep everyone from seeing.

The hope that Faith always held. A hope of someone who just wanted another person to truly love her.

And loses herself
In her dreaming and sleep
And her lovers walk
Through in their coats

She had as many lovers as she had leather pants. No, she had more than that. But were they really lovers?

Buffy looked up from the photo to gaze at the empty apartment and it's surroundings. Somehow cold and alien. Like it was just a place to stay and not a real home.

No, they weren't lovers. Buffy knew that as surely as Faith herself did. They were just things of comfort.

Things to keep Faith warm. To keep her momentarily satisfied. People who loved her for a few hours in the night because she never thought she'd ever get anyone to love her for anymore than that.

Or find anyone who'd be brave enough to try and do that. To try and break through her defenses and find the real person buried underneath there.

The problem was that the real person who was buried there didn't think that she was worth finding.

But Buffy, she knew that just wasn't so.

Pretty in pink
Isn't she
Pretty in pink
Isn't she

Faith had so much to give to the world.

It was just she didn't know that, not really. She was only told that by a select few and they all left her to fend for herself. Even if that wasn't by their own choice.

When you're alone in the world, when you think that no one loves you, cares for you, it's hard to find the basis for right and wrong. Especially when everything you knew that was right was taken away from you.

That was wrong. You knew that was wrong. But still, it happened and you... you start thinking that you let it happen. And then, before you know it you're doing the wrong things yourself, you can't stop it.

No matter how much you want to.

All of her lovers
All talk of her notes
And the flowers
That they never sent
And wasn't she easy

Everything in life was hard for Faith. That's what she thought, that's what she said more or less.

Buffy knew why Faith blamed her. Faith... she thought her life was like this photo. That it was perfect in its beauty and without flaws.

She thought that Buffy's life was easy.

At least, easy compared to her own. Whether that was true or not, Buffy didn't really know. She didn't know if she wanted to know that.

Then what did she want really? From Faith and from herself? What was she expecting to get out of being here? Trying to find out who Faith really is?

Staring at the photo once again, Buffy whispered in tones of confusion, "Why do I care so much?"

And isn't she
Pretty in pink
The one who insists
He was first in the line
Is the last to
Remember her name

They remembered her name. They had to. Anyone who ever met Faith Spencer remembered her name.

Remembered who she was and what she incited inside of them with her words, with her smile, with her touch.

That was the one truth that Buffy knew.

Even if she wanted to, she couldn't forget Faith or what she meant to her. What she meant...

What did Faith mean to her? That was what she was here to find out. Who Faith was to her.

Their relationship, what was it really? She remembered the look in Faith's eyes. That stricken look upon seeing her, that overwhelming guilt, and the eyes of a wounded creature begging for her own release.

For her own death. But she hadn't wanted that. No, she wanted revenge. She wanted Faith to hurt, to pay for what she had done to them all.

Had done to her. Faith made her a victim. And no one had ever done that to Buffy Summers before.

No one.

He's walking around
In this dress
That she wore
She is gone
But the joke's the same

Was it the betrayal that hurt so much or the fact that it was Faith who did it?

Slayers.

That's what they were. Sisters of sorts. Only they truly knew what it meant to be the Chosen One.

Buffy relished this bond. She loved that someone could finally understand her and what she went through and for awhile, she knew Faith felt that too.

Then it all fell apart. Was it because of Angel? She became so wrapped up in his return that she forgot about Faith? That's what the other Slayer thought for a time.

No... it might have seemed like that but that wasn't it. It was Buffy and her fear about the bond that she felt.

The strength of it was more than she could handle and Buffy knew she could become lost in Faith. She also knew that's what Faith wanted. For them to become lost in the love that was building in between them.

Too bad Buffy wasn't strong enough for that. Too bad she pushed Faith away. Too bad Faith let her do that. Too bad the Mayor noticed all of this and took advantage. Too bad that was the beginning of Buffy losing Faith.

Too bad they only now realized their mistakes.

When it was too late and Faith was in jail.

Pretty in pink
Isn't she
Pretty in pink
Isn't she

This damn photo... Buffy's eyes teared up as she looked at it. Why did it have to be so beautiful?

Why did it have to show her the real Faith?

Why? Why? Why?

And why... why did Faith have to be gone?

Why did she tell her to go?

WHY?! Why did she do it?!

When she knew, she knew, that she loved her.

Caroline talks to you
Softly sometimes
She says
'I love you' and
'Too much'

Was their love too much for her to handle?

Was that it? Could Buffy just not deal with it and the feelings that Faith caused inside of her?

Was that why she pushed her away?

Was that why they both ended up here?

Was that why they were now apart?

Was that why everything had happened?

All of these questions and more whirled around inside of Buffy's head. It was too much for her to take in and yet, one question lurking among the crowd stood out to her. And it was the most important question of all.

What was she going to do now?

She doesn't have anything
You want to steal
Well
Nothing you can touch

Tracing the corners of Faith's smile, Buffy knew more than anything that she wanted to see that smile for herself. She wanted Faith back, the real Faith, the one in this picture, the one that she had almost seen so long ago.

And once she had the real Faith back with her, she wanted just one more thing for Faith and for herself.

Buffy wanted them to hold one another's heart.

She waves
She buttons your shirt
The traffic
Is waiting outside
She hands you this coat
She gives you her clothes
These cars collide

It was a lovely wish. A lovely goal and Buffy knew that she had to keep it. For her sake and Faith's.

Rising to her feet, Buffy pressed the photo to her chest and walked towards the front door. She opened the door and paused to turn and look at the empty apartment one more time before she left it behind along with the past. She did have a future to plan for herself, you know.

All she had to do was to get Faith's approval.

Which Buffy didn't think would be so hard once she showed the other Slayer what was inside of her heart. Once she did that, everything would be fine.

They just had to be.

Pretty in pink
Isn't she
Pretty in pink
Isn't she

Closing the apartment door behind her, Buffy looked down at the photo one more time and smiled at the image before her. Faith smiling, the light dancing in her hair, her brown eyes warm, and that silly pink dress on her figure.

"She looks pretty in pink," Buffy decided.

Of course, she wasn't about to tell that to Faith. Because Buffy did want them to finally get together, after all.