Prologue

There were two women and three men present in the dim room.

“What!!?! The woman speaking, or to be more exact yelling, was much younger than the others present. Her eyes discharged a full dose of cold anger around, almost scaring her much older and much more powerful associates. “Are you telling me that Faith escaped? Are you telling me that those idiots fucked it up?”

One of the men, a distinguished looking gentleman with graying hair, nodded and made an apologizing gesture. “My people got her out as planned, but somehow she managed to get away from them.”

“She’s a slayer,” the young woman fumed. “What did you expect? She’s not one to let things happen to her without a fight. We should have done it my way!”

Another man, a bit younger than the first one and with a nasty scar marring his face, coughed slightly before speaking. “And what makes you so sure that she would have bought it? What makes you so sure that she will trust you?”

The younger woman narrowed her eyes. “If we convince her that we can do a lot for her, that we need her and trust her, her reaction to us is bound to be more favorable. She’s not going to react well if she feels like she’s being freed from one prison to be placed in another.”

“She’s a dangerous young woman,” an older woman with bottleblond hair and stiff lips from to much surgery remarked. “How can you be so certain that you’ll be able to control her?”

“I can’t,” the younger woman admitted, “but Faith’s psyche is very fragile and that makes it possible to manipulate her. She longs for a chance to belong somewhere, to be cared for, to be important for someone. If we can make her feel like we’re the family she never really had, then we have a fair chance. She’ll be the powerful weapon we need to get rid of the Sco… Cleveland Crew.”

“Yes,” the distinguished gentleman agreed. “It can be very useful to us if we manage to tap into her anger, her resentment, her loneliness and use the fact that she feels abandoned by the world and especially by the gang she so longed to be a part of.” He paused. “And The Cleveland Crew, as you call them, probably know a great deal about us after Jace betrayed us and that means that we have to be careful. They know we will do something, they just don’t know what, and I agree that it will be easier for Faith to operate on our behalf than it would be for our other agents, mainly because they know her, are already nervous about her and probably won’t see the connection to us. They will probably think she’s in danger from us, too.”

The younger woman smiled and nodded. “Exactly! And we can use the fact that Kennedy knows that Faith was on their side in the fight against The First in the original reality. She could convince the others that our Faith is trustworthy.”

“I still think it can be a very dangerous game,” the older woman said. “They have Jace and her girlfriend in their corner and, as you pointed out, that young time-traveler, who knows how things are supposed to be. She is a wildcard, not easy to control. And Faith… we don’t know if she will get what she wants from the other slayer and her friends. What if….”

“And speaking of control,” the man with the scar interrupted rudely. “How do you plan to find Faith and get close to her, get her to trust you again? ”

“She’ll go where she have to, and that’s Cleveland. Everything she wants is there and I really don’t think that Buffy will forgive her that easy, not for a long time, she’s too hurt. Faith will have to prove herself as a redeemed former psycho and I guess that the rest of the gang will be just as reluctant to welcome her. I can work with that, move in on her in this emotional limbo she’s going to be left in.” The younger woman smiled wickedly. “And I’m one hell of a seductress!”

A small man with spectacles and cold blue eyes nodded and thereby finished the discussion. He was clearly the man in charge. “Enough talk. Do was have to be done and do it now.” He nodded to the younger woman.

She smiled.

2: Oh, what a night.

Kennedy just couldn’t wrap her poor, but pleasantly exhausted brain around the fact that she and Tara actually made love last night - and this morning, too! Tara had managed to fall asleep an hour ago, but it wasn’t possible for Kennedy to get down from the high. Last night had been the result of a spontaneous act, not planned or discussed at all.

‘How much of a cliché can you get?’ Kennedy thought happily. ‘A pillow fight as prelude to sex.’

After the first kiss on Kennedy’s birthday, (the best present ever!), they had been secretly dating for months now, but predictable enough their love for Willow stood between them like a massive wall that kept them from taking the relationship further. And even after last night the wall was probably still there, a bit more shaky and hopefully not as insurmountable as before.

But what a night!

‘Worth every long and agonizing moment spent on waiting anxiously for the right time!’ She snorted mockingly. ‘Listen to yourself, you’re sounding like a damn Hallmark Moment!’

Last night had been very different from her first time with previous lovers. Always a quickie to fall in love and sometimes way too pushy for her own good, meant that she never knew her lovers that well before sleeping with them. But with Tara everything leading up to that had been…Yes, from the lack of a better word: different.

Her love for the witch, or Wiccan as Tara preferred to call herself, was far more complex and facetted than any other relationship, friends and lovers, she ever had encountered. Loving someone that much before actually falling in love with them, added a whole new dimension to the lovemaking. It made the experience both more exiting and more scary.

She looked at the woman sleeping beside her. The dark blond hair tousled and moist. A very satisfied chuckle escaped her. ‘Probably after the hard grip I had on it during my final orgasm.’ The - after last nights overuse - highly sensitive area between her thighs tightened and nipples hardened when she thought about what those full lips could do.

‘God, I could go again! This is too much, even for me!” she grinned and bent down to kiss Tara lightly on those wonderful lips, careful not to wake her.

Tara mewled a little and snuggled closer. This time it was Kennedy’s throat that tightened, not in arousal but as a defense against the flood of emotions welling up inside her, threatening to make her cry like a baby.

Suddenly the door swung up and a very hectic Buffy stormed in. “Amy is in town,” she said, like that information should mean something to Kennedy.

Kennedy quickly covered the naked woman beside her and gave the slayer a evil stare. “Have you by any chance heard of the concept of knocking before entering a bedroom?”

Buffy ignored her. “Hi Tara,” she greeted the suddenly very awake and very embarrassed witch. “Amy is in town.”

And then two tired brain cells met in Kennedy brain. “What? Who? The former rat Amy?” she asked. “I didn’t care much for her back in…you know, she put some spell on Willow that made her into….” She stopped herself. She couldn’t think of the first time she kissed Willow with a naked Tara so close, it was… rude and hurtful and thoughtless and… and… and sickening.

“Yep, the former rat herself,” Buffy continued unaffected by Kennedy’s sudden stop – and the fact that two of her best friends were in bed together – naked. “You probably don’t know this, but Evelyn helped de-rat her some time ago, but we haven’t seen her since. We heard some rumors, though, about her keeping some really bad company and stuff.”

“W…where did you see her?” Tara asked, as she carefully moved away from Kennedy and finally got her blush under control.

“Just now. By the café. I wanted some coffee to go. I’ve been out all night, you know. Couldn’t sleep.” Buffy joined the lovers on the bed. “But she disappeared before I got close enough to actually speak to her.” She thought about it for a moment. “And now that I think about it, she disappeared rather sudden, under normal circumstances I shouldn’t have lost sight of her that fast.”

“It sounds like we have to look out for her. Try and find out why she’s here,” Tara said, moving her body further away from Kennedy. “She could mean trouble.”

Kennedy’s chest tightened and the air seemed to escape her lungs. There’s was something in Tara’s demeanor that didn’t bode well for their future as lovers.

‘It was too soon! I knew it was too soon! We should have waited, we should have talked more about it, been more sure how it would effect us. We should have….”

“Are you two staying in bed all day?” Buffy interrupted Kennedy’s internal rambling. “Or can I count on some help with Operation Find Amy Before Trouble Starts?”

“Of course we’ll help, Buffy,” Tara said eagerly, like she just couldn’t wait to get out of bed – and away from Kennedy and last nights lovemaking,

Kennedy wanted to scream – and puke – not necessarily in that order. Or she wanted to go back to sleep and wake up in a reality where this wasn’t happening.

But that was probably too much to wish for.

3: Hotel Hunger

She really hated not knowing what the fuck was going on. One minute she was sitting in her cell minding her own business, then her head started hurting like hell and suddenly she found herself in the back of a truck with two large men staring at her like she was some sort of a circus freak in cage.

Of course they hadn’t been staring long, she had seen to that, but that wasn’t the point. The point was the she hated not knowing was the fuck was going on.

Someone wanted her out of prison and she was pretty sure it had nothing to do with doing her a favor, and at that a favor she didn’t really want. That someone wanted something in return and before she knew what is was, it wasn’t safe to go back and rot away until they found her rehabilitated enough to face the world again

Faith sighed and tossed the bag filled with new clothes, bought with the money she had relieved the two unconscious guys of, on the bed. Maybe she should have stayed with the kidnappers, ‘or rather slayernappers,’ she grinned, but she had acted instinctively when she knocked them down and escaped.

But either way she was quite sure that the newest Hellmouth housing a slayer would be a place to seek answers. And that’s why she found herself staying in a sleazy hotel in Cleveland. Maybe Buffy had encountered those guys, too, and maybe she knew what the fuck was going on! ‘She always do,’ Faith scowled. ‘Or at least she always thinks she does.’

She took a quick shower and found some fresh clothes in the bag. She wasn’t in the mood to hit the town yet, but she wanted, no needed, something to drink, and luck was with her this time. The Hotel’s owner obviously knew and respected his guests wants and needs, and to honor that he had placed a miniature bar room right beside the reception desk, where they served greasy and disgusting looking fast-food and… hurrah… alcohol. “Just my thang,” she drawled at the empty room. “Ice cold beer in a nice dewy bottle.”

Drugs overflowed the prison and she could’ve gotten high as the Statue of fucking Liberty everyday, if she had just said – yes. But a damn beer? No way, no fucking chance in hell! That would surely corrupt the entire prison system, man, mess with the fine balance and the carefully considered order it was built upon! One tiny sip and bam, up in disgracing smoke! Or rather disgracing foam…. She grinned and opened the door. A beer called out to her - loudly.

She immediately spotted the hot looking redhead sitting nonchalantly at the bar. Cute, in a tough I-know-life’s-a-bitch-and-I’m-prepared-to-kick-it’s-ass-if-it-stands-in-my-way kinda way.

Faith straightened her back, felt a swagger coming along and put on her most inviting I’ll-fuck-you-until-you-scream-your-throat-to-pieces smile. There was something about the chick that told her that she would be receptive to the idea of having sex with a horny stranger – if Faith presented it the right way. And Faith wanted hot sex even more that she wanted a cold beer.

Sex hadn’t been an option in prison. Not that opportunities hadn’t landed on her lap with boring regularity, but she had decided to distance herself from the other inmates, having too many important secrets to hide, and fucking them just didn’t seem to send the right message.

The redhead in the bar represented the first attractive opportunity, male as well as female, she had come across since she escaped her kidnappers. This hotel seemed safe enough and that woman was hot enough to give Faith some very demanding and, she had to add, quite insisting urges.

Okay, maybe she was a bit rusty in the seducing department, but what the fuck, once you learned how to drive a bike or swim a couple of pool lengths, you never forgot, right? And Faith was confident about her abilities, they hadn’t let her down before, so she had no doubt that she could deliver those screams of pleasure she so boldly bragged about to put herself in gear for the conquest. That is, when she finally had the chance to put her mind and body to it. Like… now….

‘I have many skills,’ she grinned and sat down beside the redhead, making sure her cleavage wasn’t hidden by the leatherjacket. ‘If you want casual sex with a total stranger you eye in a bar, you have to flash the merchandise, a nice personality or a charming sense of humor and shit like that, won’t land you the big price by itself.’ At least she had learned that much. And if she had to, she knew how to fake a nice personality. Everything for the possibility of getting laid.

“Hey,” she greeted, her voice husky with promises. “I’m Faith.”

The redhead turned around and faced her, looked her straight in the eyes. And smiled. Faith wanted to take her right here, right now. ‘I’m so damn horny’, she thought a bit irritably, not really liking being this much out of control. Being out of control had proved to be one of her great weaknesses.

She pushed the irritation away. ‘I’m so horny that I don’t give a shit about that or anything else, not even if she turns out to be a fucking vampire wanting to taste some slayerjuice!’

“Hi,” the redhead’s eyes roamed appraisingly over Faith’s body. And she obviously liked what she saw. The eyes turned darker, answering the promises with her own ones, and her nostrils flared slightly like she tried to get a scent of the woman in front of her, or more likely her level of arousal. “I’m Amy.”

4: Faith is back

There was a claustrophobic tenseness present in the room that made Dawn twitchy with unease.

‘Something must be very wrong,’ she thought nervously. ‘Isn’t it possible to get just one lousy day without trouble?’ No, probably not, not as long as there were demons and vampires to fight, Dawn knew that. But a girl has a right to dream and wish, hasn’t she?

“What’s wrong?” She asked warily and looked at her sister. One glance at a brooding looking Kennedy in one end of the room, and a very tired and drawn looking Tara in the other, told her that her normally overprotective never-tell-Dawn-anything sister would be the her only chance to get an answer.

“Faith has escaped,” her sister answered neutrally with a blank face and eyes guarded, not revealing anything about her opinion on the subject. And Dawn knew that there had to be lots and lots, due to Buffy’s very complicated feelings for the other slayer.

Dawn actually liked Faith, before she turned bad. She didn’t take crap from anyone, with Buffy as the only exception, and Faith had talked to Dawn like she was a real person and not just a demented teenager. Much like Kenny always had done.

Dawn had a suspicion that Faith actually was her first crush, even if she hadn’t thought about it at the time, but somehow she had been smart enough not to advertise it or be obvious about it, like she had been with Kenny, almost from day one.

Faith had been a revelation, so different from Buffy and everybody else, and she was very open about the various aspects about her sexuality: That she liked one night stands, that she liked it rough sometimes, that it didn’t matter if it was a boy or a girl she did it with.

Even at that time Dawn knew enough about the Scoobies prudishness, it was long before Willow met Tara, to know they would have been shocked and probably very disapproving of such a crush, and in her unconscious mind she was also smart enough to know that nothing would ever happen between her and Faith. That was another big difference from her crush on Kenny. With her there had been hope… and she moved from harboring a crush to the hurtful reality of being in unrequited love. Her first real love.

Never mind about all that. It was a thing of the past. Kenny loved her, she knew that, but not in the way Dawn really longed for her to love her, and she had to move on. And she really tried. Her newest boyfriend, even if Kenny detested him, was the best option in years if she wished to succeed.

In all honesty, she knew that a part of her always would be in love with her first love, but she couldn’t live solely on hope, praying and longing, and Sean was willing to give her more.

Now she just had to quell the longing….

Dawn mentally returned to the room and the conversation going on in it. She seemed to have missed the explanation to how Faith managed to escape.

“I called Angel, but he wasn’t ‘available’ as Cordelia put it,” Buffy continued to speak with no emotion whatsoever. “Cordelia and I had a talk instead.” After a short thoughtful pause: “She sure has changed a lot.” Dawn’s was very happy to hear an amused tone in her sister’s voice; it lightened the tension in the room considerably.

“What did she think? Angel visits her from time to time, doesn’t he?” Tara asked, sounding just as strange as Buffy. Dawn frowned. Something weird was going on. She understood why Buffy acted how she did, but there was something going on between Kenny and Tara that had nothing to do with Faith.

Buffy nodded.

“I think we should give her a chance,” Kennedy spoke for the first time, her voice hoarse and strained. “The Faith I knew helped us defeat The First. She wasn’t the Faith you remember, she had actually redeemed herself quite nicely!”

Dawn regarded Kenny curiously. She looked like someone had stolen her favorite pet and trashed it thoroughly. Dawn snorted irritably at all the unspoken words floating in the room.

‘They think they can keep things from me, but if they want me to remain a ignorant child clawing around in the dark, they should learn to keep better track of their voices and facial expressions! Man, they are sooo easy to read! Why can’t they just tell me what’s wrong instead of letting me guess my way around in this damn family?’

“We don’t know how different this reality is from the reality you come from,” Buffy shrugged. “Maybe Cordelia can help us with some of it when she comes for a visit.”

“A visit?” Tara gave a small lopsided grin. “Is LA going slow in the demon-fighting business these days, since she wants to come here and help us out?”

Buffy smiled back. “No, I think she wants some time of from Angel and the rest, and she sounded really interested in this whole Faith thing. She promised to get hold of Angel and get a fresh update before she comes. Angel isn’t the most talkative vampire out there, so she wasn’t sure about what the deal was with Faith.”

“”You’re telling us that she hasn’t been the least curious about Faith? I mean, a slayer gone bad, a slayer she actually knew back in Sunnydale?” Kennedy asked skeptically. “Her and Angel run that operation together, don’t they?”

Buffy shrugged. “That’s right, you’ve never met Cordelia, have you? It’s fair the say that the years in LA has changed her, but I don’t think she has changed that much, though. Cordelia has her own special way, her own special view on things. If she dismiss someone or something, they simply don’t exist.”

Kennedy’s eyebrow lifted. “But she was interested enough to come here and help us out?”

“Yeah, I think Faith’s escape made her remember,” Buffy grinned. “Or maybe it’s just an excuse to get away from Angel for a while, and blame it on business, get her expenses paid for and stuff like that. That’s how she is.”

Dawn didn’t even bother to ask all the questions she had on the subject of Faith. She decided to try and get something out of Tara later, she was the one most likely to give in and tell her something.

For now she just followed the others talk, noticing the weird distance between Tara and Kenny, who in the last months had been practically joined at the hip.

It had hurt to watch them growing closer after Willow’s awful death. Dawn knew it was petty jealousy and nothing more, but she couldn’t help herself. She was used to sharing Tara with Willow, and visa versa, but they were always there for her when she needed them and she never ever doubted their love and engagement in her life, in some ways they had been more her substitute parents than Buffy ever had.

But she was not used to share Kenny with anyone. Except for a girlfriend now and then, but these girls never mattered that much in the big picture and their stay in Kenny’s life never lasted longer than a few months, sometimes just a few weeks.

If Tara and Kenny became a couple, things would be different, Dawn knew enough about the two women to be certain of that. Tara would expect more than a superficial relationship based on sex, loving Willow had been all about the close and magical bond between lovers that share everything, a deep commitment and an unconditional love Dawn, and Buffy too, envied.

And Kenny. Kenny was probably ready for that. She was obviously in love. It hurt to think that sentence to the end, but it was the truth and nothing but the truth. Kenny was in love, for real this time.

Dawn sighed in defeat. Even if things were strained between them at the moment, they would work it out and be happily in love. The part in Dawn that wanted her friends to be happy, applauded their love and was happy for them.

The part in her that was hopelessly in love with Kennedy, cried out in deep hurt and a sorrow she wasn’t sure she ever would overcome.

When she and Buffy left the room, the last thing Dawn heard before the door closed, was Tara’s meek voice: “K..Kennedy, we have to t…talk.”

It was almost never a good sign when Tara stuttered like that.

5: Walking in the shadows of the past

Well-fucked and as well rested as it could be expected after a night like that, Faith got out of bed around noon. Amy had left hours earlier without saying goodbye, but it didn’t bother Faith that much, even if she found it a bit strange considering the explosive heat they had created together last night and into the early morning. The best sex she could remember ever having, and she was damn sure that Amy felt somewhat the same. You couldn’t fake it that convincingly.

Faith shrugged. A long hot shower would clear her brain and give a body a well-deserved kick off, giving it strength enough to face trouble… and Buffy, both probably at the same time.

***

Watching Buffy’s house filled her with a lot of conflicting emotions, but the most prominent ones were sadness, anger and… longing. “This is shit,” Faith muttered to herself. “Just walk up to that damn door and knock. How difficult can it be?”

But it was actually more difficult than she had expected. Numerous of scary scenarios ran amok in her overworked brain, all of them ending with Buffy wanting to have nothing to do with her along with one of their numerous fights.

Yeah, one could easily say that the way they had dealt with each other had become a bit tedious and predictable. Faith more than hoped that things would be different this time.

A stopped just outside Buffy’s house and a family woman stepped out.

Cordelia? What the fuck…. Queen C of the old Sunnyhell. What a surprise, Faith had no idea that she still kept in touch with her former… what… friends? Not a real Scooby, much like Faith herself, the only significant difference between them was that Faith didn’t have the advantage of a short period of dating Xander and thereby receiving a reluctant acceptance, instead she was left hanging in some sort of a No Man’s Land, with no invitation whatsofuckingever to join the warmth of the small exclusive circle, but handy enough to help them fight their battles.

Bitter much? Faith grinned humorlessly and focused once again on the woman at Buffy’s door. Maybe Cordelia was here in the capacity of Angels coworker? Yes, that had to be the answer. And maybe her visit even had to do with her own alleged escape?

Cordelia rang the bell and waited impatiently, but no one came to the door.

Faith cursed inwardly. Why the fuck hadn’t she even considered that the damn house could be empty? And she had been sitting here freezing her ass of like a….

Cordelia was staring right at her! An eyebrow rose and Faith knew that somehow that damn woman was able to see her… and recognize her. It told her that her hiding skills were severely lacking. ‘I HAD many skills,” she thought dryly. ‘Prison makes you sloppy and lazy, not that great for a slayer. Not even a secondhand one.’

Cordelia apparently wanted to talk and was quickly approaching Faith’s hiding place, that seemed to be severely lacking in the hiding-department! Faith shrugged. ‘Better face the fucking music, then.’ Practice the upcoming confrontation with Buffy and the rest of the gang. She and Cordelia hadn’t parted on the best of terms either, they hadn’t seen each other since Faith knocked her out and tortured Wesley.

Cordelia refused to be part of a reconciliation, even when Angel - AND Wesley had asked her to. Faith could easily guess what her reaction had been to the suggestion: ‘What? Making the psycho-slayer-bitch feel better about herself? Go nail yourself to the wall, Angel dear!’

“Well, well, well, who do we have here?” Cordelia’s expression was unreadable.

Faith kept her often waaay too open a mouth shut like a cell door at night. ‘Let queenie do the talking, let her be the one to start the trashing.’

“So what are you doing here, Faith? Making Cleveland your new playground for revenge on Buffy or are you hoping to be welcomed with open and forgiving arms? No, that can’t be it. That would be too naive, so naïve that it could almost be considered cute!”

Faith’s only response to that was an expressionless stare, she simply refused to take the bait. ‘This is your show, queenie,” she repeated to herself while she let her eyes roam lecherously our Cordelia’s body - just to annoy - but it really wasn’t exactly an appalling job that one – annoying Cordelia by enjoying her body. Hell, in Sunnydale she had done that every time Cordelia had pissed her off – and that had been a lot!

To tell the truth, and sometimes you had to, she always found Cordelia to be damn hot – that is if she kept a leash on the snobbish sarcasm and the stuck-up attitude. Back in Sunnydale Cordelia had been an obnoxious bitch, but she knew close to nothing about the LA-version of the woman.

And Angel had told her over and over again how Cordelia had changed, and maybe it was true. Faith decided to do something she really wasn’t prone to: Give someone the benefit of doubt.

“Hi Cordelia,” she said, very conscious about using Cordelia full name, she remembered how the other woman hated her name being shortened - and nicknames in general. Another way for Faith to annoy her in the good old Sunnydays. ‘Maybe being nice will earn me some credit in her Book of Bitches, and even a chance of ending up in the former-section!’

“So….” A dangerous glint had entered Cordelia’s eyes. “Did you break out just to come here and mess Buffy’s life up again?”

“No,” Faith muttered, damn if this was any indication of how her general reception in Cleveland would be, she should have gone with the kidnappers instead. “I didn’t exactly break out,” she heard herself say in defense.

Cordelia laughed. “That’s a good one, Faith, still making stories up to fit your purpose?”

And then Faith decided to give Cordelia yet another of that benefit-of-doubt-shit and gave a Readers Digest version of the last couple of days.

“And now you’re here to get some answers?” Cordelia concluded, all signs of animosity suddenly gone from her face. “I’m sorry, Faith. I don’t think they have any answers to give you. I talk regularly to Buffy about business and stuff, and she would have told me if anything was up here.”

Faith heart sank.

“And I don’t think you should bother with lame excuses, she won’t listen, but she will probably kick your ass out of town before you even get to open your mouth. She still don’t trust you, you know. And your escape don’t make it better.”

“But I didn’t escape!” Faith wanted to yell, scream about how unfair this was, but she kept her emotions in check.

Cordelia thought about it for a moment. “Let me talk to her, Faith, maybe I can ease the way a bit. I can give you a fresh how-Faith-is-viewed-these-days-status tomorrow. We can meet for coffee or something.”

Faith nodded dejectedly. She had predicted that getting on Buffy’s good side again would take some time, but the tone of Cordelia’s voice indicated that it was next to hopeless.

But she agreed to meet Cordelia the next day. Hope doesn’t die that easily –not even when you were a second-hand-slayer-former-psycho-bitch-on-a-rocky-redemption-road-to-hell.

******

When she got back to the hotel, dark thoughts prevented her from doing anything but lie in the bed, staring at the ceiling, a knock on the door made her heart jump painfully.

‘Buffy?!’

But it was Amy, wearing a seductive smile that once again stirred something up in the lower part of Faith’s body.

“I have an offer for you,” Amy took a step closer and moved her hands sensuously up and down Faith’s chest.

Faith moaned. ‘Do that again and I’ll say yes to anything, girlie!’

6: Something to talk about “There’s someone at the door,” Tara said softly. “Shouldn’t we…?”

“Ignore it!” Kennedy snapped, the last shred of patience gone for the night. “We really need to talk, you pointed that out yourself, Tara, and now we’re finally home alone, so – let’s talk.”

Abruptly she sat down without taking her eyes of Tara. Her stomach churned like a relentless grinder making a mess out of the inner organs, a jumping, thumping heart made her chest hurt like an open wound and she was scared shitless, nervous and… scared shitless. And she wanted ‘the talk’ over and done as quickly as possible with so she could find a quiet corner somewhere and fight off the pain she was absolutely sure was on its way to hit her like a bullet to the heart.

A small part of her wanted to be mean and resentful, make it too difficult for Tara to say that it was over between them, but another part of her wanted to curl up to Tara’s body and beg her not to dump her, not to tell her that making love had been a mistake, had been like betraying Willow’s memory or Willow’s love for both of them in the different realities they originated from.

“This is so difficult to comprehend,” Tara began hesitantly, her eyes far away.

Kennedy assumed that ‘this’ meant their relationship.

“It feels somehow unreal, if that’s the right word for it, it’s almost surrealistic, you know, like a weird dream,” Tara continued with more strength. “Where you come from I was the one to die and you were… w..were in love with Wi..Willow and s..she… s..she was in lo..love with you, t..too.” Tara swallowed hard, obviously trying to get her, nowadays very uncommon stutter under control.

Kennedy’s heart thumped even harder, like it desperately tried to crack her chest wide open and escape to a safer, more calm place. She fought the urge to laugh. Hell, she would probably faint or throw up at Tara’s feet before ‘the talk’ was over!

“From the first day I met Willow I always believed that somehow we would always be together. As friends at least, before I realized that she actually…” she stopped herself. “She was the one my soul craved to be united with….”

Kennedy tensed. “I really don’t want to hear this, Tara!” It wasn’t like Tara to be this damn insensitive….

Tara didn’t seem to hear her. “But in both realities we were torn apart by death, hers or mine.”

“Where the fuck are you going with this?” Kennedy asked barely keeping her temper in check. She sure as hell wasn’t going to sit here and listen to a tirade about how the only two women she had ever really loved, belonged to each other and not to her at all. She kinda new that little nerve-racking fact already and she didn’t need more painful reminders.

“We shouldn’t do this,’ Tara whispered. ‘I… w..we can’t….”

“Be in love, you mean?” Kennedy almost choked the words out. “We can’t be in love? Or are you really saying that YOU can’t?”

Large tears blurred Tara’s normally clear blue gaze and Kennedy watched as they began their salty way down to lips she so longed to kiss again.

“I’ve dreamt a lot about her lately. About Wi..Willow….” Tara’s words felt like acid on already sore skin. “I didn’t understand at first, but I knew she was trying to tell me something, something very important - like she was trying to prepare me….”

Kennedy interrupted her angrily. “That’s it, isn’t it? You think that Willow wants us to stop being in love?” she spat. “The Willow I knew wouldn’t be that cruel!”

Tara’s face clearly showed how much she wanted to reach out to Kennedy, making things okay between them, but something – or someone held her back. “No, that’s not… my Willow wouldn’t do that to me…”

Kennedy flinched.

“…to us, that wasn’t what she was trying to tell me. You must believe that, Kennedy!”

“What was it then?”

“I didn’t understand until she came to me after our… our n..night to..together.”

‘Now it comes.’ Kennedy’s stomach lurched. ‘The final kill.’

Sounding almost scientifically she explained: “I think it was because she came to me when I was relaxed… and happy after….” Tara blushed. “I didn’t try to protect myself from the pain I normally feel after her visits, being with you reopened all my senses….”

‘Great!’ Kennedy wanted to kick something – hard. ‘I’m now officially a moron who reopen things that is going to rip my heart out. Congrats TO ME!’

“The thing is….” The pain in Tara’s voice immediately brought her back from the self-mocking she were having so much fun throwing at herself. “We’re going to be united soon, as it was meant to be from the beginning, before all sorts of bad interference messed up all of our lives – in both realities.”

‘Great, now I’m a mistake, a mess up for both of them. This is going to take more than a couple of colorful drinks to swallow and then live with.’

“Not just mine and Willow’s,” Tara continued unmercifully, “but yours, too. And Dawn… Buffy… all of us.”

“What…what does that mean, Tara? I don’t understand. How can you say…?”

“We’re going to be together, Kennedy. Willow and I will be united. Soon. She told me that with those exact words. You and I will be united soon.” Tara’s eyes told Kennedy the truth as she saw it.

“You mean… are you telling me that you’re… you’re going to die? Join Willow in death?! You can’t be fucking serious!”

Tara nodded solemnly. “What else can it mean? We’re going to be united….”

Kennedy flinched at the love, for Willow AND for her, that was reflected in Tara’s expressive eyes.

“Willow told me the truth, Kennedy. I knew in my heart that it’s going to happen. I can feel her near me in a way I haven’t since she died. I know it’s going to happen very soon.”

They stared intensely at each other for a long, long time. Afterwards Kennedy couldn’t remember who took the initiative, but suddenly they were holding each other so tight that they could hardly breath, crying and mumbling incomprehensible words to sooth the other and themselves.

And suddenly they kissed with a passion that made Kennedy lightheaded. Both their bodies shook with emotion while their hands, lips and tongues desperately tried to capture an essence, a fragment of the women they could have been together, and sorrow made the passion so painful that the crying intensified while they kissed and caressed.

As always Tara was the first to come back to her senses. “No, we…we can’t do this, K..Kennedy, we just can’t….”

Kennedy wanted to get away, as far away from Tara’s as possible.

Outside the chilly wind hit her tear-stained face and her lungs almost collapsed when she finally was able to breath more freely.

“Kennedy, what’s wrong? Has something happened?”

Kennedy couldn’t hold it together anymore, could regain her cool, her control, the fact that she hated to expose any form of weakness to other people, especially crying, she hated crying in public. Instead she practically threw herself into Dawn’s arms.

She needed to be held by someone who cared, who loved her unconditionally and didn’t place her in the dreaded second row.

And Dawn did just that.

7: Fragments of a day

“Move on, Faith,” Cordelia advised. “Get rid of that damn past, forget about how they all pissed you up and down the back. Buffy will always be righteous Buffy and she won’t forgive you, you’re not Angel, who has a lost soul to blame for all the bad things he has done. You, her rival and nemesis, you don’t have the lacking soul advance.”

“You don’t think….” Faith tried really hard to hide how hurt Cordelia’s words made her feel.

“Not even if you hop all around the world on your tongue,” Cordelia rolled her eyes. “Believe me, that tongue-trip could even be considered an easy ride compared to getting forgiveness from what’s left of the Scoobies. They’ve become a very bitter bunch.” Cordelia thought about it for a moment, while Faith tried to slow her heart down to normal. “Bitterness is quite an unattractive quality, I must say,” Cordelia pursed her lips.

And Faith chose to leer at her instead of crying. Crying was simple NOT an option and Cordelia surprisingly enough seemed to appreciate the flirting.

******

“What part of the sentence: ‘I don’t want to talk about it’, don’t you understand, Dawn!” Kennedy’s voice sounded high and a bit hysterical. “I don’t want to talk about it, voice it in any way, I don’t want to speak, ramble, babble or anything remotely connected with expressing my thoughts or feelings about it. You get it now?!

Dawn hated this aggressive and rather rude side of her friend. It nearly never showed itself, but Kennedy had been quite on the edge lately. Dawn wanted to slap her upside the head and remind her that there was people around her that cared and that she should talk with someone about what bothered her instead of letting it eat her op from the inside.

It was clear, so clear that everyone noticed, that there’s was something very wrong.

‘She cried in my arms, damn it, and Kennedy NEVER cries. Except for that day when she found out that Willow was dead.’

Anger rose inside Dawn and she almost yelled in frustration. “Why can’t you, for once in your frigging life, rely on someone else when things are tough? You’re NOT an isolated island, you are a human being with people who loves you and is affected by how you are feeling, how you act!”

Kennedy’s dark eyes flashed and her lips tightened.

Dawn tried to calm down before she continued. “You know that I’ll always be there for you, no matter what. I’m… I’m your friend. Why can’t you trust that? Why can’t you open up to me, why do you always keep me at a distance? Why?”

Kennedy walked away without giving her an answer.

*****

Tara stood in the window, hidden by the curtains, and watched how Dawn and Kennedy interacted. They seemed so close, even if it was obvious that they were fighting. Her heart constricted and the skin around the eyes warmed uncomfortably when tears threatened to fall.

Tara DID love Kennedy and she felt the loss in every aching cell of her tired body. Falling in love again had been difficult, especially difficult so accept. Kennedy was the lover of another Willow. That fact alone had been a lot to swallow. It had felt like a betrayal.

Because Tara still loved Willow. It had taken her a long time to come to terms with the fact that loving Kennedy didn’t diminish her love for Willow, and it had been Willow herself that made her understand that very significant point.

‘Love is a very wonderful gift,’ Willow had said on one of her nightly visits in Tara’s dreams. “And you should be thankful for every opportunity you get to love and be loved.”

When Tara had inserted a ‘but’, Willow had stopped her. “Don’t compare, baby. Love shouldn’t be measured up against another. Love can be different, but love is always right.”

Even if the words didn’t sound like how Willow used to express herself, maybe death did that to ones vocabulary? Tara understood what she meant, and she loved her deceased lover even more for trying to relieve her of some of the guilt and uneasiness with falling in love with someone else.

‘Couldn’t you be happy with Kennedy?’ Willow had asked.

And yes, Tara really thought she could, but she had stopped herself from adding: ‘Even if she isn’t you.’ That addition wasn’t fair; not to Willow and especially not to Kennedy.

This was one of the reasons she had to let go of Kennedy. Kennedy deserved someone to love her fully, without any restrictions or limits, and someone without an impending death hanging over her head.

But a small part of her, a part she found really, REALLY disgusting, still felt a tiny bit jealous when it seemed like Dawn was given another chance to conquer the love of her life. Tara loved Dawn like a baby sister, and sometimes it even felt like she was the younger woman’s mother. Tara smiled at the thought. And Dawn had been in love with Kennedy for ages, without the object of that love, acknowledging it.

Maybe that would change now, without a Tara or a Willow around, to blur Kennedy’s view of Dawn,

And perhaps Kennedy finally would accept the great gift Dawn was offering her and let it make her happy again.

But apparently not today. Tara watched Kennedy leaving a very distressed Dawn behind.

And a very dark part of Tara was relieved. And she really, REALLY didn’t like that part very much.

****

The young woman spoke softly into the phone. “Yes, I know, but I have made contact and it seems like the plan is working. She’s already licking her thoughts directly from the palm of my hand. And soon I’ll convince her that the right thing to do, is kill off the other slayer and finally be the only one. A slayer we control.”

The male voice on the other end said something that made the young woman pale. “What?! That can’t be… why….”

Her eyes narrowed in anger. “Are you telling me she’s going to arrive in the middle of my plan?!”

She nodded when the voice on the other end had spoken. “What you’re saying is that I have to get rid of Kennedy, before those two have a chance to speak? Why? I mean, I know Kennedy can mean trouble in all this, but…” Long pause. “Oh, damn, that’s tricky, this is just fucking…” She stopped herself. “Okay, I’ll deal with the little brat. Don’t worry.”

****

When Faith returned from the meeting with Cordelia, Amy waited for her with some very disturbing information.

“Are you sure about this? Is not some sick joke or something? If it is, I’m not laughing.”

Amy shook her head. “The thing is that she really IS coming and it IS for real, I’m not fucking around with you, Faith. I’m here to prepare her arrival.”

Faith’s brain had some difficulties wrapping itself around this new ‘thing’. And Amy’s ‘matter of fact’ tone when she explained ‘things’, didn’t help damn much. She sounded like it was ‘everyday business’ and not some sort of fucking….

Amy moved closer. “Lets forget about this for now,” she husked.

Hot lips found Faith’s mouth and very competent fingers found a quickly erecting nipple to tease. And for a while – a long while - Faith forgot about Buffy, Cordelia and ‘things’….

8: Fragments part 2 “I’m not sure about this, Red,” Faith mumbled.

Amy smiled wickedly. “So you keep saying, and I keep replying that it’s what we got to do. We have an important mission here and you know it. Everything will change because of this, we will set everything right.”

‘Fuck girl, I hope you’re not as mad as you sound,’ Faith thought wearily.

“We have to split up, you take care of Kennedy and I prepare the rest. Okay?” Amy checked her watch. “We better hurry, we’re already late.”

Faith nodded.

******************************************************

Kennedy wasn’t sure about much anymore, but she knew one thing for a fact: someone followed her and had done so for a while. ‘If I was a slayer,’ she grumbled to herself, ‘I could actually do something about it.’

For the first time in months she really felt the impact of all the losses she had suffered when she lost her previous life during the jumps in time. And one of the things she really missed was the secure feeling of having a capable slayer inside, the rush of knowing that no matter what, you possessed something ancient old that gave you an important advantage in the fight against evil.

‘Am I in a self-pitying mood or what?’ And that was exactly what she was, because even without the slayer she was still quite able to defend herself, she still had the skills and knowledge of the Potential – or SIT, she once was.

‘I have to find out who that fucker is.’ She grinned, trying to set herself up for the possible fight. ‘Maybe it’s something nice for a change? A woman finding me unbearable attractive, helplessly following my trail to get as much as me as she can. Hmmmm.... It would be nice being someone’s number one and only.’

**********************************************************

Something was wrong, Tara felt it in every fiber of her being. She knew she was alone in the house, but all her senses told her she wasn’t. ‘I’m not usually this paranoid, am I?’

The truth was that if she took a critical look at herself, she knew she had acted out of character for quite some time now. Waiting paitiently for her own death, for instance. Before Willow’s nightly visits it wouldn’t have been her normal way of dealing with a death sentence. No, she would have fought it like crazy, together with Willow she would have found a way to reverse it.

And what about dumping Kennedy so brutally in the name of ‘a honorable act’, but really doing it for selfless reasons, to scared to let go of Willow, even before she knew they would be reunited sooner than she had thought.

Forcibly she shook the uncomfortable thoughts away, or at least OUT of the way, and focused on the present potential dangerous situation.

The Summers House was protected by all sorts of magic to keep evil from entering, but nothing was foolproof and the meant that she could be in danger if the intruder was hostile.

A small uninvited thought nibbled in the back of her brain: Maybe this was her time to die? Maybe the intruder was here to execute her destiny?

Suddenly death wasn’t so apealing at all. Right here, right now she finally understood how she felt about dying. She wanted to be with Willow again more than anything in the world, but she wanted to be with her in life, not in death.

She heard a noice outside the door and it made an already skitty heart jump into her throat.

****************************************************************

Kennedy made some very - a least she thought so herself - sneaky moves to flash the stalker out.

‘This really reminds me of the good old days in Sunnydale.’

The adrenalin running through her veins made walking feel like flying and another sardonic grin made its way to her lips.

So far Kennedy had determined that the person following her was a woman. And she was probably alone. Kennedy hadn’t managed to get a good look at the female staker yet, but she seemed familiar somehow with the dark hair and the leatherpants.

‘Okay let’s see who she is then and give her a good scare.’

But it was Kennedy who ended up being scared, faced with a gun and a toothy grin that didn’t bore well for her continuing to breath.

‘What the fuck?!’ she gasped. “What are you doing? Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be….”

When the bullit hit her in the chest, the last thought that left her mind was: ‘Why is this always happening to me?’

9: Near The End

“What are we going to do? We have to do something – anything….” Dawn sounded nervous and high-strung – even in her own ears. “I can’t believe this is happening!”

Buffy closed her eyes in frustration. “Damn, I wish Giles was here. He would know what to do.”

“Maybe we should call him?” Dawn suggested. “Ask him to return home before planned.”

“We need to call him anyway. We have to tell him about… this.” Buffy gestured to the unconscious Kennedy, lying pale on the hospital bed, hooked up on all sorts of wires, machines and drops. “And Tara….” Buffy added in a teary voice. “We have to tell him that someone kidnapped Tara.”

“Yeah.” Dawn squeezed Kennedy’s cold hand. “I’m so, so tired of hurting all the time. Just for once I would like a normal life.” She glanced down at the all to silent woman she loved more than she dared to express – even to herself.

She knew Kennedy cared deeply for her, too, but she couldn’t or wouldn’t take the sisterly love she claimed to have further than that. She refused to acknowledge that there could ever be a more passionate love between them.

It hurt. It hurt a lot. But Dawn couldn’t do anything about it and she tried, really tried, to find a similar passion with her various boyfriends – but always failed.

And then Tara and Kennedy happened. The two people, other than Buffy, she loved most in the world became lovers.

And that had hurt - beyond hurting.

And now Tara was missing, perhaps even dead, Dawn wanted to scream in denial of the mere thought, and Kennedy was trapped in coma that could result in a brain functioning on the level of mashed potatoes if she ever woke up.

For the first time as a grownup she felt like the world was crumpling beyond repair.

*************************************

“I was too fucking late, Amy!” Faith yelled and gave the wall a kick that threatened to tear it down. “I saw that bitch shoot and I couldn’t do a damn thing to stop it!”

“It’s not too late.” Amy reassured her. “It won’t be the same when Willow make it right. ”

Faith stopped every motion and instead of hitting the wall she stared it down like it was standing between her and all the happiness in the world. “We won’t be the same either,” she whispered. “We won’t be here. We won’t be together.”

“I know, but….”

“No buts! I hate to be the butt of all the fucking jokes of that damn thing destiny! And to think that damn bitch fooled me – I really wanna kick HER pompous butt to hell where it belong!”

Amy couldn’t help but laugh at that. And Faith shook her head in mock discouragement and muttered something unintelligible. Amy couldn’t help but kiss her. Deeply. And for a long, long time.

***********************************************

“You failed, Miss Chase,” her boss said.

“I didn’t fail, Sir,” Cordelia snapped. “I got one of them.”

Her boss nodded. “Yes, but she isn’t dead, is she, Miss Chase?”

“Not yet….” Cordelia mumbled, trying hard to hide her anger.

“And one got away entirely,” her boss continued, ignoring the interruption. “You need to find her before too much damage is done.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“You made some fatal mistakes here, Miss Chase. You didn’t succeed in manipulating Faith and you hit the wrong target with that Kennedy-girl. She isn’t the one we have been warned about, is she?”

Cordelia’s face turned red. “No, she isn’t, Sir.”

“And the danger we’re facing is coming at us from an entirely different direction. This is even more catastrophic than we anticipated.”

“I’ll see to it immediately, Sir.”

“No,” he shook his head. “You had your chance, Miss Chase. I had some high expectations of you and you failed.” He pushed a button on his desk and tow huge guerillas responded.

And when Cordelia saw them she knew her life was over and done with.